And let me just preface this by saying I am not even really sure if I can call what the Canadian and I have as a relationship. Sure, if we lived within at least one time zone then I guess we could, but since there are, oh, I don't know, 3 hours between us, then it's hard to even consider. However, that aside, let me continue with my musing.
Today at the therapist I owned to liking and dating several younger men. After much going back and forth about the whys (lets just say I live in the moment and don't get caught up in the possibility of a future, because really, that thought doesn't enter my mind with a younger guy) he said that the reality is that a younger man and an older woman just won't work in the long term. He was like, well, it's always a possibility but the it's like the odds of winning lotto. more on that later.
I could deduce, then, that his professional opinion was that if I wanted sometime long-term and serious that I would be disappointed if I thought I was going to find it in a younger man. Which led me to ask the original question. Can they work, if the older person is a women?
I am sure that this has been asked before, but truly, why not? If i was a man, people would be high fiving me and slapping me on the back. I have gone on and on before on the unfairness of a gal like Samantha being branded a slut while if she were a guy, they would be commending her on her prowess.
It's a complete double standard and everyone knows it, yet WE women allow it to perpetuate. Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating that we all go out and immediately younger guys. And I know that there are some younger guys who purposely seek out older women thinking that we are somehow easier to get into bed.
I then asked my Dr, so should I just write off a guy simply because he is a good 15 years younger than me without ever giving him an opportunity and of course, there is no black and white answer for that, but he did seem to lean in the direction of me understanding that there is no way possible someone that much younger would have the life experience necessary to deal with being in a relationship with me.
Ergo, my current albeit slight dilemma. Again, I am living in the moment, but a small part of me inside can't help but wonder if there could be a future. It seems improbable at best, and yet, I still can't help but wonder.
back to the lotto comment, someone has to win. And while the odds are against anyone of us winning, millions play each week with the hope that they could be holding the winning lottery ticket. Hope........without we have nothing. I play lotto every week, almost, in the hope that I will win. Even though I know the statistical improbability of winning. It's why I give certain men a chance. At worst, it's another life experience chapter for my book. At best....well, then the possibilities are endless aren't they.
Hope springs eternal. It's the Charlotte in all of us.
1 comment:
Having just ended a 5 year relationship where I was the senior by 16 years, I have some experience on this subject.
Initially, the age thing is no big deal. It's just a number. But as you get older, the gap seems to get wider.
I had everything (money, home, experience, stability) to contribute to the relationship. He had very little, including life experience.
FWIW
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